


take all the courage you have left

by lilaclavenders



Series: all of this turbulence wasn’t forecasted [10]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam (Voltron) Lives, Adam-Centric, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Pre-Canon, References to Depression, References to anxiety, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:20:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28395270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilaclavenders/pseuds/lilaclavenders
Summary: Leandro freezes, almost sending a bunch of textbooks flying across the table. He timidly asks, "I'm not in trouble, am I?""No, no," Adam says immediately, gesturing for him to sit down. Once Leandro places the textbooks on the desk, Adam elaborates, "I just wanted to talk to you for a second, think of this as a little check in of sorts."Adam doesn't have a favourite student. (Except he does.)
Relationships: Adam & Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Adam & Lance (Voltron), Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Pre Keith/Lance - Relationship
Series: all of this turbulence wasn’t forecasted [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1922935
Comments: 13
Kudos: 105





	take all the courage you have left

**Author's Note:**

> lance is my comfort character, i said it  
> not beta read and it's 4am so pls be kind :')
> 
> (title taken from: little lion man - of mumford and sons)

If you asked Adam, he would vehemently deny that he had a favourite student. 

Though he also denies ever stealing Iverson's coffee, and insists he does not have a spare key to the staff kitchen at night. Apparently, he doesn't have a giant spreadsheet estimating the date of the next few shipments, times for when Iverson actually goes to drink his coffee, and routes planned to ensure he does not accidentally bump into anyone while he procures his weekly stash of the stuff. 

But if he were to have a favourite student, then he would choose this loud Cuban boy who loves the idea of flying almost as much as he loves being a people-pleaser. (Also Keith has this look on his face, like he's about to vomit, whenever Adam mentions him.)

* * *

During the first week of orientation as a new instructor, Adam plans to ask what type of animal each of his new students would be, to ensure none of his students hate him right off the bat. He even pulls up his itinerary for the week one last time to prove it. After laughing so hard that he almost chokes, Takashi jokingly points out that Keith would be a wolf.

“It's true, Keith eats meat, and he even goes hunting at night and leaves us gifts by the door when he's done.”

Adam cackles, "You're getting mixed up, Takashi, you're literally describing a cat."

Keith snaps, “I do not go hunting at night!”

Takashi jokes, “Would you rather us call your late night excursions your howling hours?”

Keith growls back at him as Adam snorts.

"But you do leave us gifts," Adam eventually agrees replies with a smug look, as Takashi ruffles Keith's already dishevelled hair. 

"I do not leave gifts," Keith immediately replies, huffing through his nose. 

"Ah," Adam replies, "Keith wouldn't know where to get nice coffee even if it hit him in the face- He'd probably steal some instant coffee sachets from the cafeteria and call it a day like the scoundrel he is."

Keith opens his mouth, about to argue with Adam and insist that actually he _can_ find the good coffee but that would mean admitting he does care about Adam and Takashi more than he lets on. So he decides to sag deeper into the sofa, closing his mouth into a frown.

Takashi chuckles, "Look, I can even imagine his tail drooping."

"Don't look directly into his eyes, he might bite," Ada m replies, without looking up from his tablet.

Takashi thoughtfully replies, "Isn't that what dogs do?"

"I think it's what any wild animal would do."

It goes without saying, but Adam knows Keith, knows he’s wild and instinctive, knows he revels in being alone so much that he forgets that he's part of a pack. Keith doesn't like the responsibility of having the potential to let other people down, defensive to the point where it seems like he's always attacking everyone around him.

But he has a name, and a place to go to every night when even the moon seems like too much company for him. So maybe Keith's not as wild as he believes.

* * *

“I want you to write me a quick essay on what type of animal you’d be and why by the end of the day,” Adam says for the fifth time this week. “It’ll give me a chance to know you better- For example, Officer Shirogane would definitely be a dog because he likes to go on long walks, practically runs everywhere he goes, and if I ask him nicely, he'll even fetch things for me."

The whole class laughs of course, because someone has to be the one to humanise Takashi. 

Adam eventually receives his responses throughout the hour, and spends his coffee break reading through some of them. He immediately rolls his eyes at Keith’s submission, which is one of the first to be sent through, a four word sentence, which looks smug, but is more vulnerable than Adam’s ever seen him.

Submission: 'If I were an Animal'

_You already know me. _

Submission by: Cadet Keith Kogane, Cohort 1E.

So, of course, Keith’s not as wild as he makes himself out to be, if he allows himself to be seen by Adam.

The last essay is not sent through until the day is almost done, and Adam’s in the middle of brushing his teeth.

His tablet flashes : _An assignment has been handed in._

Submission: 'If I were an Animal'

_ I originally wrote that I would be a lion, because my Mama is the bravest person I know, and my Papa is the smartest - so why wouldn’t I be the perfect mix? My heritage and name would surely mean something, right? But I know that giving names or labels to things doesn’t automatically make it so, or that just because your parents love you doesn’t mean you’re any more deserving of great things than anyone else. I don’t think I’m meant for great things even if I want to be, nor do I feel like a lion. I care too much about what people think of me. Lions are unapologetic, and there's no such thing as being too much if you don't care. _

_ I care too much that I want to crawl into the spaces between my ribs, and ask what my purpose is, if it isn't for greatness. What happens now that I am surrounded by people I don't know? I can't be of use to any of them if I don't know how make them happy. I hate being alone. _

_ So I think I would be a chameleon, wearing the colours of a lion. My Mama is the bravest person I know, and my Papa is the smartest, but I’m only good at memorising their behaviours, acting brave and smart and not being those very things, but even then I can't even blend into my environment very well. I'm too loud, too disruptive, too much - that's what everyone says.  _

_ The things I love about space is that it's infinite and you can't hear a single thing in it. Hopefully, if space is really like this, then I'm looking forward to the day where I won't be too loud or too much, where I can be brave and smart where it counts. Maybe there I won’t need to blend in anywhere to make people think I’m something great, because I’ll be too busy flying away to care about what people think of me and I'll be really useful, for once.  _

Submission by: Cadet Leandro McClain, Cohort 1E.

"Takashi," Adam says, and there's tears in his eyes. "Is it ethical to want to hug your students and maybe give them a counsellor?"

Takashi wordlessly sweeps across the room, places a hand on Adam's shoulder and grabs his tablet with the other. He reads the whole thing while Adam makes some Lemon and Honey tea. 

"I'll keep an eye on him," Takashi eventually says, because he knows a thing or two about shouldering more responsibility than necessary, so much so that even the weight of the Earth itself would be lighter, and perhaps the likes of Atlas would agree. 

* * *

"Leandro," Adam calls out a couple of weeks later, before the rest of the students leave the classroom. "Could you help me put these textbooks away?"

Keith raises his eyebrows, because he's usually the one who Adam relentlessly tasks with chores after each week, but only because he treats him to lunch afterwards. It's a fair deal.

"Uh, sure," Leandro replies, looking back at Keith with the same incredulous look. Keith shrugs before packing his things away. 

The bell rings seconds after, and Leandro apologetically smiles at a taller, broader boy who waves from outside the classroom. "I'll be over in a while, save me a seat?"

"This won't take long, Leandro," Adam says with a laugh. 

Leandro freezes, almost sending a bunch of textbooks flying across the table. He timidly asks, "I'm not in trouble, am I?"

"No, no," Adam says immediately, gesturing for him to sit down. Once Leandro places the textbooks on the desk, Adam elaborates, "I just wanted to talk to you for a second, think of this as a little check in of sorts." He almost grimaces at how similar to Takashi he sounded.

"Right," Leandro says, still unsure.

Adam smiles and unlocks his tablet. "Your essays are always my favourite to read, though this," he loads the first essay Leandro had ever written on the screen, all vulnerability and unabashed honesty, "is the one I will always remember."

"Gosh," Leandro says, wrapping his arms around himself self-consciously, "I didn't think it was anything more than a self-reflective essay- I didn't think you'd actually read it, like you probably got 200 of those if you got all the first years to do this, right?"

"Leandro," Adam says firmly, though far from unkind. "Take a deep breath and listen for a second, alright?"

"Yes, Sir," Leandro replies, squeaky.

"I'm going to set you another task, okay?" 

Leandro frowns, "Are you sure I'm not in trouble?"

"You're not in trouble, in fact, you're far from it," Adam says reassuringly. "I want you to write another essay, but this time really taking a deep look at yourself and the good things you offer, without any of this people-pleasing and self-deprecation, you hear?"

"But what if that's all I have to write?"

"Then you don't belong here," Adam simply says. "The Garrison specifically chooses the smartest, bravest and most passionate people- 200 other people in your cohort may seem a lot, but we chose these 200 people out of hundreds upon thousands each year. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

The boy blinks, lets his eyes flick from Adam to his essay a few times before replying with, "Uh, yes, Sir?"

"This doesn't have a due date, but I do want it handed in at the moment you realise you are worth more than what other people think."

"Okay," Leandro echoes in disbelief as Adam gets up to open the classroom door. Keith, predictably, is waiting outside a few metres away.

"Uh," Leandro says bashfully, "You can call me Lance, if you want- Everyone else does, anyway, makes it easier for some people."

"Sure thing, Leandro," Adam says, rolling his eyes, "I'll see you next week," he hollers with a laugh, as Leandro awkwardly jogs down the hallway, almost knocking Keith over.

* * *

His last conversation with Leandro starts with, the boy himself bursting in to Adam classroom, immediately launching into a flurry of hand gestures as he asks, “What if I wasn’t made for all this?”

“You’ve gotten this far, Leandro,” Adam says, and he understands. “I keep saying you should stop thinking about everyone else’s opinions, how far they are in life and do what you want to do." He pauses, and lets his favourite student collapse onto a chair before saying, "Congratulations for getting into the fighter pilot programme,” with a smile.

”I don’t deserve it-"

”Yes you do,” Adam insists, with a raised brow, hopefully showing his student that he's being completely and utterly ridiculous.

”No-“

”Are we really going to argue about this? We didn’t spend all those lunches and evenings studying for nothing, you know I don’t make decisions that aren’t worthwhile,” Adam states, trying to find it in himself to act irritated.

Leandro sits in silence, and can't find it in himself to fight back. 

Adam smiles as he admits, ”I fought for you to come up, don’t bail on me now.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Leandro quietly says after a while, with a thoughtful look on his face.  Before he leaves the classroom, he looks back at Adam with a grateful smile before he disappears entirely.

Adam sighs, and wonders if he'll be receiving an essay sometime soon.

* * *

“Reported Missing: Cadet Leandro 'Lance' McClain, aged 17 years old, from Cuba-“

Adam turns the TV off. Of course, like Takashi was enticed by the possibility of the unknown, Leandro was also stolen away. 

Adam really hopes Takashi really does keep an eye on him, if he's not too busy trying to look after everyone else.

* * *

Unfinished Submission: Rewrite of the essay 'If I were an Animal'.

_ I've accepted that I won't ever be a lion. I'm not naturally gifted, and I'm not effortlessly graceful or self-assured and that's okay. My Mama will always be the bravest person I know, and my Papa will always be the strongest, and that's why I love them. Those traits aren't for anyone else but themselves - it's something uniquely theirs.  _

_ I don't think I'll ever stop caring about what people think, but I know I can channel it into something good, because I think we need more people who care. For this reason, _ _ I don't think I'll ever be a lion. I want to care. I don't want to be effortless. I want people to recognise that I put all my energy into everything I do. I think it's enough of a purpose to care about others. (So maybe I could be a dog, or something, though I'm not sure how I feel about going on long walks with Officer Shirogane.) _

_ But honestly I want to concentrate on being myself, and embrace how much of a people-pleaser I am, because it means I'm loyal and passionate. I can adapt to new situations and keep optimistic as much as I can, because I'm constantly observing my environment and the people around me. But that doesn't mean I'm a pushover or passive - I'm loud and disruptive in a world that is just as loud and disruptive, which means I'm actually a product of my environment. I don't think I ever blended into it at all. _

_ My Mama is smart, my Papa is brave, so _ _ I'll be constantly working on being the best person for the people around me, being brave and smart for them, and maybe that makes me a little bit great.  _

Submission by: Cadet Leandro McClain, Cohort 3E.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> i'm continuing my h/c that adam will call the people he cares about most by their full name, so LEANDRO will stay with me until my dying breath.


End file.
